Many of us men have tried or are using online dating sites trying to find that ideal mate. Many of us are sincere seekers of this kind of a woman! Our email alerts us that a female has sent us a message on such a site and if the message has one, there is a picture of an attractive, usually young female. So, of course we click the link or open our browsers to go and see what she said. The Bio of this person says she’s from Birmingham, AL or San Francisco, or Vancouver…any relatively normal place for a woman to be living in within North America.
For any of us who are remotely literate, we notice that the English is poor…nothing like American or Canadian, but we read on anyway. She says things like “I’ve been described as sexy” or “I am looking for that one man to love me and treat me like a queen” or “I’ve been horribly abused and I’m looking for someone who will treat me right” or “I read your Bio and I saw your picture and I think we’d make a cute couple” – things to attract us for various reasons, since our needs and wants and what will attract us varies so much from man to man.
These Bios are a Siren’s call and like the Greek hero Ulysses and his men, many of us just cannot resist. Like fools, we read on anyway…even though that tiny voice inside us (the voice which has saved my ass so many times when I’ve bothered to listen to it – you all know that voice too, I’m sure.) is sounding little alarms like “But the writing is SO bad…” or “OK…this is too good to be true!” or, if you’re over 50 like me, “What the hell would someone as young, (say 22, 21, 31, 28 – pick a number, they’re all there!) and who’s as lovely as this want with a 55 year old geezer like me?” I mean, come on, guys…we probably all still think we’re as charming in our golden years as we were when we were considerably younger but GET REAL! The alarms are REALLY going off NOW! But as I said, (ahem!) we read on and perhaps then decide to write back.
The messages might already contain an address for Yahoo messenger or MSN Live or one of the other popular chat engines, or through your correspondence back and forth (and they WILL write you back) you’ll eventually get a contact address for these chat engines. OK…here’s another red flag…if the hello message you originally got leads you to her Bio and the contact info for the chat messenger is there for all to see…how many other guys do you think got this same generic message? Anyway, so we add that person as a contact…and THERE SHE IS!! LIVE!! We open a dialog box to talk to her with a “Hi…how are you…I’m Bob…” or whatever and she responds. And you have this nice dialog session with this person. Eventually, with the initial or more of these dialogues, they will begin to suck you in with romantic overtures and photos that attract because they are progressively sexy, scantily clad and model-gorgeous however these probably aren’t pictures of them. They’re more than likely pictures she got from a catalog or online, or from whatever good source she could find!
Eventually, what will come is a nicely couched story with a plea for money…something like “I came down here from America for a modeling job which my roommate recommended” Which is believable, I mean the photos are that caliber! “When I got here, my boss for the modeling contract wanted to have sex with me, but I am a good Christian lady and I wouldn’t do it, so he beat me and fired me and now I have no food.” If you’re a softie or a basic humanitarian like me and you can’t stand to see people suffer, maybe your heart strings are tugged a bit at this. If you’re a smart tough guy who says “Aww…to hell with this” and completely drops the ball, you definitely have my respect and admiration…my heart always seems to get in the way, heh heh. You tough guys don’t need to read any further, this article just ain’t for you!!
But…if you’re like me, you listen on. “Can you help me out?” NOW the alarms are really going off…the tiny voice is TINY no more! But perhaps you’re a dope like me and you don’t listen to either! And so, you ask “Well, how much do you need?” She says “$50.00” Jeez, that’s not much money (for many of us) and you wonder how to send it so you ask and she kind of hints around about some money transfer service like W.U. She gets you to contact them and you send the money and then, when she asks for it, the confirmation number from the W.U. transaction and she showers you with thanks and maybe a few more pictures which have progressed from fully clothed to pretty revealing! Bear in mind that this is a good, Christian lady we’re talking about here. Now I, personally have no real religion any more but living in America, or Canada, I think most of us know the tenets and “good Christian ladies” aren’t gonna show ya pix of their boobs right away, if ever, are they? But being the horny guys we are, we ignore this warning too. Gads, we’re so dumb…so driven by our bodies!
Now let’s think about this for a minute, shall we? A woman who’s model-gorgeous has contacted us with an invitation to chat. She might have told you she was falling in love with you (like, after you’ve known her 2 hours) She engages you with a lot of sweet talk and probing to find out about you. She might even ask you for such personal information as to your bank account, credit card, to feed potentially lethal identity thieving schemes and I know guys who’ve given this stuff out!! She’s giving you a dig for money and now, you’ve sent it. Whack! You’ve probably, no….near definitely been SCAMMED!
These women keep bleeding you and bleeding you for the same amount or perhaps progressively more and more money with all kinds of sob stories and tales of their love for you. Sometimes it’ll even lead up to something like “I want to be with you but I have no way to get to you.” And YOU’LL come up with the “brilliant” idea of sending them money for a plane ticket. These women are SO good at this sort of manipulation…looks like it was all your idea! Like internet marketing geniuses, these gals have found their niche. And YOU are not the only guy they are talking to…NO WAY!! They are so good at this that they could have a hundred of us or even more kicking in these dollars. Some of them work for bosses from home or in a boiler-room configuration where everything they need to get your money is provided for them and they get a sweet percentage of what they make. Can you imagine the income that could be derived from one really good female working this market? We’re talking 1,000’s and 1,000’s of dollars a month! Jeez! Am I in the wrong business?
Further, unless you talk to them on the phone, it could even be some hairy, ugly Nigerian dude doing the manipulation!! Even with a phone call, you CANNOT be sure! The internet is the best place to fake ANYTHING!! Even male orgasms!
So the safest thing to do is to just drop this football altogether! The minute she says she is in or from Nigeria, and she will most likely say so right away because you’ll probably want to phone eventually…she’ll probably even ask you to phone! And you’ll know by the country code where she is…so no point in hiding this! Right when you’ve been mined for money or have the plea(s) floating around in yer noggin, RUN LIKE HELL!! Trust ALL your alarms!! They’re there for a reason!!
If you’re not convinced from any of this yet, then YOU offer to fly to them!! Or tell them you’re sending them a non-refundable e-ticket to get them to fly to you. You’ll find out either upon landing in Lagos or upon mentioning the words “non-refundable” whether you’ve got anything or not. And personally, if I did fly there and she didn’t show up, I’d get the hell OUT of Lagos pronto because Nigeria is ONE SICK PUPPY with more crooks per capita then there are kidnappers ‘n cartel workers in the Colombian highlands!
I wrote this because I wanted to save you guys the kinda hurt feelings, despair, frustration, anger and shame I’ve felt at being scammed. I hope I’ve been able to help.
For you ladies who might have read this, I don’t know if the same sort of thing happens to your lonely hearts as it does to guys’ but if so, I’d caution you to look out too!
Keep your money and be patient!! If it’s meant to be, your mate will show up sooner or later.